| Confused... |
[01 Oct 2005|12:50pm] |
So I'm kind of confused. One of Mike's "friends" sent me this photo album thing, saying, "If anyone asks, just tell them you were looking through my friends page on my webshots and found it." Ok, automatically my thoughts are like, WTF, when somebody says that it can't be good. There were a couple pictures that made me kinda go, ehh... but this is the most confusing.
http://community.webshots.com/photo/464912995/464937257AfawhT
(if you're curious enough you'll type it in, since I can't seem to figure out how to make it a link.)
Well, that's my boyfriend... but that's definitely not me...
Now, I am probably overreacting, as I always seem to do, but I am not ashamed to say that I am really fucking pissed off because when I go to parties I make SURE no matter how FUCKING drunk I get I do not do anything that would make Mike feel uncomfortable or suspicious, to give him reason to be like "Wait, what?" Even if there isn't a camera around, I do not want word getting back to him like "Wow Lori was acting pretty damn promiscuous last night." With having a long distance relationship there needs to be a certain amount of RESPECT to the other person, or else you might as well go around fucking every person you see. I am not strong enough to deal with this, therefore I am not strong enough for a long distance relationship, because I mean why am I so upset at him for having some fun? I am fucking psycho, I know I am, but it doesn't dull the pain my heart seems to be in. FUCCCCKKKKK EMOTIONS, love is FUCKING BULLSHIT.
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| Gotta get this finished. |
[25 Aug 2005|11:14am] |
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On Monday the 15th I don't think I did much of anything... I think I went to Target with my mom and Emily and then to work at Sam Ash from 4-10. But Tuesday... at the bright hour of 8:30 AM, Kristine calls me and makes me get up and shower to hang out with her. Alllllllll day. First we drove around and went to 7-11, and then over to Wood River so I could get my second PPT shot. OUCH. That's when I got the depressing news that I would be starting work that Saturday instead of the 29th, like I had written on my app. and like Jacqie said I would be during the first PPT test. So I was pretty upset because I thought I'd have this whoooole week off to just relax and chill with people before they leave for college. But no, I'm working. But anyway, after that Kristine took me to the Roosevelt Mall and we walked around and ate pizza, and then we drove back to Btown and decided to watch American History X. I was in a room with all five Vallette kids, it was crazy!!! Anyway, Kristine fell asleep during the movie but I watched all of it and it was a crazy movie, I liked it a lot. Bryce woke Kristine up for me and we decided to both go to our respected homes and take naps, and then meet up later on for bowling. So we did that and then went to Penndel Lanes to bowl, and Hilliary and Karen joined us (plus a bunch of Kristine's friends from work), but when Hilliary and Karen left to pick up Christina and Amanda they decided to go to Brunswick instead and me, Kristine, Mary Kate, and Mary Kate's boy decided to go to the movies. Kristine and I got McDonald's and literally sat through the first five seconds of Hustle and Flow, where we decided the movie was NOT worth our time, so we left. A waste of four dollars, but oh well. Wednesday!!! I got together with Safia and Scott and we had breakfast at Christo's!!!! I grabbed Safia's boob by accident and the two of us were laughing our heads off (Safia was crying, I swear), but Scott missed it so he was kind of confused, but then when he did find out (and saw the picture) he wasn't too impressed, haha. After that we went to Scott's house and played with his dog. We took her for a walk!!! That was fun. Then Scott drove us both home and I went to work at Sam Ash 4-10 and then felt sooo sick so I just went to bed. Thursday I went over to Wood River to get the PPT test checked out and then worked at Sam Ash 10-5. Everybody Wang Chung Tonight came in (aka my friends Kris and Eric and the rest of their bandmates, they were on tour that week) so seeing them was awesome, they were having an awesome tour the last I heard. After work I can't really remember what I did... nothing important or interesting I guess. Friday I had to go to Wood River in the morning to get processed, and then there was a big dispute over the Jeep and I almost got it for my very own, but my dad couldn't find one he liked so he ended up not buying one so we're still semi-sharing it. But I had it all day and I met up with Jessie and we went shopping. I bought black pants and black shoes for work and then a nice brown shirt for play at Charlotte Russe. We ate at Chick Fil A and then Jess had to go back to work so we both went our seperate ways. Friday was my last night at Sam Ash, and it was actually pretty sad. I miss Jay and Bove so much!!! They are the coolest guys ever. I'll get to see them at Eric's party, though :D Friday night after work I just went straight to sleep because I had to get up at 5:30 AM to be at Wood River by 6:30 for my first day of training... oh my Lord. I trained with Kristine so that was tons of fun, we took lots of breaks haha and it wasn't too bad. After an eight and a half hour shift, Mike was home from Bermuda and there at Wood River to pick me up :D :D :D We stopped at my house so I could shower and get changed and then Kevin called, so we went to Taco Bell with him, Alisa, and some other kid... I can't remember his name... but yeah that was a lot of fun. Kevin's mom works at Wood River! After Taco Bell we got ready for Hilliary's party!!! It was fun, there were a lot of people there... I didn't get too drunk because I had to get up early the next day AGAIN for training at Wood River. Mike and I crashed at like one, but at five am there's banging on the door and I'm told Kristine was supposed to go home last night but she's asleep in Hilliary's bed next to Marder. So I got up and tried to wake her up, but she was dead asleep. So we decided to try again at 5:30, but again, no luck. Mike eventually got her up around six by holding her eyelids open and saying she has to get up over and over again. So Kristine leaves and I get ready for work, and Mike drops me off. I get there a little before 6:30 and since it's only my second day of training, I don't really know what to do so I just hang around waiting for Kristine. 6:30 comes, and no Kristine. 7:00 comes, and no Kristine. Levi helps me make the supercereal for the residents and Phil guides me through setting up the trays. 7:30 comes, and no Kristine. I'm frantically trying to direct connect with her and call her, but she's not answering. Now I'm getting worried. I kept thinking she was dead on the side of the road or something. 8:00 comes and it's almost time to serve breakfast, and I'm freaking out, thinking I can't do this on my own!!!! Phil calls down to the nurses and tells them Kristine isn't here so it's only me, and they promise to help me out in every way. I get down there and the cart is all out of order because I couldn't remember who was who and who sat where, but the nurses never complained and just helped me get things served. At 8:30 Kristine shows up, and I never felt more relieved in my life!! She had just fallen asleep on her couch at home and didn't wake up til then. After that the rest of the day was a breeze, besides the two of us having slight hangovers and just wanting it to be over. Mike picked me up again and went to my house so I could shower, and then I had dinner with his family. He promised me a nap so we tried to take one after dinner, but that time was mostly spent watching TV. I'm not sure what time, but eventually we decided to go get something to eat at a diner but when Mike called Tom we ended up stopping at Kim and Amanda's house for their birthday party!! We hung out there for a while and just ate the good food they had, and then Mike drove me home and that was Sunday. Now I'm hungry so I'm going to get some breakfast.
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| Just updating stuff. |
[23 Aug 2005|12:33pm] |
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Classes start next Monday. I do NOT want to go back to school. I fucking hate trains. Anyway, I'm documenting. Friday the 12th I worked at Sam Ash 4-10 and then went over Mike's to help him pack for the cruise to Bermuda he was going on with his family. After that we did what we always do-- lay around on his bed watching TV-- until he fell asleep, so I went home. Saturday I met Hannah at Market East train station and we walked to South Street. Hannah is still the coolest person I know. Background story: Hannah and I met at camp when we were going into 8th grade, but didn't really start talking until a camp retreat in February, where we become best friends. We wrote letters constantly to each other, and managed to visit the other at least a couple times (Hannah lives in Coatesville) and also saw each other at camp and other retreats. But, unfortunately, we kinda drifted apart in 11th grade, and so I hadn't seen her in about two years. But she's the same old Hannah, still crazy and more eccentric than ever. So we walked up and down South Street trying to find this restaurant to eat at, but we never found it, and eventually just settled for Johnny Rocket's because it was hot and we were both starving. After eating we looked around in the stores and I bought a pair of jeans and a shirt. After that we went back to the train station and waited for our trains. I got home and after arguing for a bit managed to get to Christina's birthday party for a full half hour. I must say that it was a great half hour. I ate cake and took lots of pictures, and then drove over to church for praise band practice. After that I just hung out at home and went to sleep. Sunday I sang in church and then took a walk, during which Hilliary called me and I went back over Christina's to hang out with Hill, Christina, and Amanda. We went swimming!! We also went to TGIFridays and I drove because I had the Jeep without any doors, and it was fun. I lost my keys but Hilliary found them in the booth, and she also taught me how to pump gas!!! Wahoo! After that we went back to Christina's and the three of them rode the go-cart thing up and down the street for a while and I just watched because I'm chicken. We went back inside and watched the original Freaky Friday, and then I drove Amanda home. At home I cleaned out my clothes and then Andrew L. called so I went out with him and three of his friends to the Clubhouse. They were assholes to the waitress and I felt bad, but what can ya do. After eating we sat in a booth that had this computer attached to the wall, and we played this game called Photo Hunt. It was soooooooo much fun!!! What happens is they show you two similar pictures and you touch the screen to where the differences are (there are five). It's timed, and you get three or four freebies if you get stuck. We played the erotic one mostly, because it was easy, and at first I refused to play because I had to act offended (naked women, not my thing), but then I joined in and it was fun. We were there til like two AM, so after that Andrew dropped me off and I went to sleeeep. And that's all I feel like updating about now.
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| Here we go again. |
[17 Aug 2005|02:19pm] |
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So, today was pretty emotional. First of all, I got together with Safia and Scott just to find out that this is the last time I'll see Safia since she's going to school this Saturday. I had no clue and I was not prepared. I played it cool when we said goodbye but then went home and cried because I got to see her a total of 2 times all summer, and that's just awful for a best friend. (I'm awful.) I will definitely visit Pitt this year, I am so excited, and Scott is going to go the same weekend so it'll be a big reunion. But I'm really upset. Then since I was on a roll, I started crying about Mike. I am starting Wood River a week earlier than I thought I was going to be, and I was soooo happy before because I thought I would have this whole week with nothing to do except hang out with him and other people who would be leaving for college very soon. But now I have to work. I was thinking about calling and being like, "Look, I put on my application I can't start until the 29th, and I'm really sorry but I couldn't get out of the engagements I've already made, so I really cannot start until the 29th like I wrote." But then I started thinking and realized I NEED the money so bad. For car insurance I pay $526 every six months, and I don't even own a car. I have plenty of money for insurance, but I really really really need to get a car because if my mom gets the job at the high school she won't be able to pick me up and I'll have to walk home from the train station, which would be good because I'll get some exercise but bad because in the winter it's really cold and half of the walk is on Bristol Pike where stupid guys in trucks honk at you and scare the shit out of you and people drive recklessly and I'd probably die eventually because of getting hit by a car. Plus when it rains... ugh. And that started me thinking about college, and I realized, once and for all, there is no way I am going to get through college. I cannot do math. I am sick and tired of people telling me if I try harder, or just keep trying, I'll get it. Because it's NOT TRUE. How much harder do I have to try?? How many times do I have to try??? I have to take three fucking semesters of math, and I can't even get through one yet. It really really really sucks, but I am just not smart like my parents think I am, like everyone else thinks I am. Everyone thinks I'm smart because I love to read, but nobody gives a fuck about being good at English, because our country focuses more on math and science and people who are good at those subjects are the REAL geniuses. Most colleges require one semester of English and at least two semesters of math. Well hell, can't I just swap that around? I have to take three semesters of math though, because I'm a fucking idiot. The course I took last semester was called Basic Algebra... and I failed THAT????? There is no hope. So I'm going to have to start thinking of other options. Maybe work at Wood River full time... or find another full time job... or get two part time jobs... start saving like now... though I doubt I'm going to get married without going to college, because guys want smart girls, (smart guys anyway,) and no smart girl would have to drop out of college, she should be successful and brilliant and able to do fucking Basic Algebra, and I'm going to lose everything. So I stole a beer from the fridge and drank it and took some caffeine pills because I needed to calm down and guess what, it worked. So that means I'm going to become an alcoholic and a pill head because I can't find any other way to calm down. So hooray, my future is looking bright, I can't wait. Sorry for this post, my set of ears is on a cruise with his family right now. I've actually had a really good couple of days, I'm sure I'll update about them later.
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| Thinking. |
[13 Aug 2005|10:44am] |
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To Jean: The only thing I'm looking forward to about school is the possibility of some fun "Thursday" lunches with you and Jill!! Hopefully our schedules work out somehow. If not, I'll be skipping class a lot :-D
Well, today Mike leaves for his cruise. So I have a pre-Mikeless week before he REALLY leaves to go back to school the 27th. Yeah, he leaves the 27th instead of the 28th like I thought, so that cuts out a WHOLE day. E-Lim is throwing a party the night of the 27th though, so I'll be good and drunk and stupid so hopefully I won't be thinking about it. Yeah, that's pretty sad huh, but it's how I deal. Self-destructive? Maybe a little. So today I am hopefully meeting up with my friend Hannah, whom I haven't seen in FOREVER. We're going to South Street to eat and hang out and catch up. I haven't seen her in two years!! She lives in Coatesville, so we've always had a long-distance friendship, but we kinda lost touch and all of a sudden she sent me an IM and now I might be getting to see her! We used to write letters like CONSTANTLY to each other during 8th and 9th grades. It'll be really good to see her. Then I'm going to Christina's party!!! Then I have church band practice, argh. Tomorrow is church and then Six Flags for a post-Christina birthday party! As for the rest of the week, I'm getting together with Scott and Safia, because I haven't seen them ALL SUMMER!!!!!! And Kristine wants to do something. And I want to try to get together with whoever else I haven't seen this summer. It's my last week at Sam Ash, too... Kris and Brian aren't going to be there all week because they're on tour, but I'll see them at Eric's party. It sucks how bad I took advantage of this summer. It's already over, and for most of it I was a total bitch to someone who cares about me more than anyone I know (minus parents, of course) and it took me all summer to finally figure out what I want. And now it's over. But then again, this summer was really good in a lot of ways. I'd list the ways, but I'm really too lazy.
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| Locked dreads. |
[09 Aug 2005|01:21am] |
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Which Trainspotting Character Are You?
Go see Trainspotting if you haven't. If you need a copy, I have a VHS!
Jean made a list of things she is dreading in her journal, and even though I know making a list won't REALLY help anything, I'm going to do it anyway.
-Mike leaving for school in 3 weeks. (Well, everyone knows about this.)
-Starting a new job. (I just put my two weeks in at Sam Ash... I will either be working at a
nursing home (Wood River Village) or a nursery (Mike's synagogue... with his mom...
which would be SO GREAT) and I'm not the most graceful at getting used to new jobs...)
-Going back to school. (The work, the commute, the making friends, because school
sucks.)
-Train rides. (This goes further than the above "the commute.")
-Terrorist attacks. (This goes even further than "train rides." Don't ask.)
-Figuring out what I want to do for a career. (I feel like such a waste.)
-Guitar lessons. (I haven't picked up my guitar allllll summer.)
-FAILING ANOTHER CLASS. (I already failed one, and I'm only going in to my second year.
What the fuck.)
-Failing in LIFE.
-Getting through this school year alive. (Literally and metaphorically.)
I guess that's it. I guess I just need to relax, but it has never been my thing to just be able to "relax." I think I'll go swimming tomorrow over my Aunt Carol and Uncle Jim's house. Though now I'm dreading seeing myself in a bathing suit. Dammit. At least I had a great weekend! I'll update about it later. Ciao.
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| Sing Mr. Songbird. |
[05 Aug 2005|01:09pm] |
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For dinner yesterday Mike, Josh, Marder, Hilliary, Christina, and I went to Chickie's and Pete's on the boulevard. It was really awesome! I had the crab fries and at first I thought they had crab IN them, so I was like EW but then the guys told me the seasoning was crab or something, so they turned out to be really good. (Oh come on, doesn't crab fries sound like the crab should be there instead of the potato??) Then since I'm a picky eater I just had mozzarella sticks as my main course. It was the second time I had hung out with Josh like ALL summer, so I was super excited about it. Just like last summer. I miss late night trips to the diner with Mike, Marder, Josh, and me. But I guess I need to start accepting change a little better. Anyway, after the food and an interesting ride home with The Polyphonic Spree, we stopped at Blockbuster but they didn't have Blues Brothers so we went to Marder's and watched Trainspotting. It's originally a book by Irvine Welsh and I love Irvine Welsh so I loved the movie! I really want to read the book now. Mike fell asleep but I saw the whole thing. Hill and Christina could only stay for the beginning because Hilliary had to stay at her brother's house that night and watch the dogs. After the movie finished Josh left and Mike tried to wake up, and then Chris came over but Mike and I left before Mike fell asleep again. Today I work from 4-10 and Hilliary is dropping by to get the stuff and then I'm going to Applebees with people Mike works with. Tomorrow is the DCI show and then a party, and Sunday I'm going to try to talk Mike into going to New Hope! Now I think my dad and I are going to go to the credit union and then to the used CD store. The used CD store is AWESOME!
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| Depressing ramblings, don't read. |
[01 Aug 2005|02:34pm] |
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So the tears have started already. I have about 20 more days until he leaves for school, at the most. The week of the 13th-20th he'll be on a cruise with his family, and we're guessing he leaves the 28th for Penn State, but he might have to leave earlier for ensemble auditions. I'm not sure if this year is going to be any easier than last... I'm hoping yes, but feeling not. (I mean I'm already crying, right?) Well I started crying last night. And this year I'm not going to have anyone else to talk to about missing their boyfriends. Jesse is going to school at Dickinson with Johanna... Kate is going to Arcadia instead of NEC so she'll be able to see Dan at least every weekend since he'll be at Drexel... Katie got screwed by her school so now she'll be commuting to TCNJ and living in Bensalem with Justin... of course I am SOOOOO happy for all of these people, they know exactly what it's like to miss their boyfriends like crazy and now they really won't have to, it's so great for them, but I guess misery loves company, right? Nothing has changed for me. He's still going to be four hours away, I'm going to still be commuting to Temple and working my ass off in order to afford car insurance and a car, and train tickets and everything else I have to pay for, so that means no free time, and I hate my job and want to quit but I need another job that either pays more or can give me set hours and as much as 25 hours a week, and now I have ballet classes on Saturdays and I can't really cancel them to go visit him at Penn State because it's a huge responsibility... I'm already getting anxious. I guess I need to figure out if breaking it off with Mike would make things easier, or not make things any better at all. If we break up it can be like, move on and forget, but I don't know if I really want anyone else right now, so breaking up with him might just make things worse. I really have no clue what to do, and might not know until he leaves. I really hate this. We're apart more than we're together, my head hurts, I can't figure anything out, and I have to go to fucking Sam Ash for six hours tonight. I'm ready to just quit everything. My life is a giant dead end, I feel trapped. UGH.
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| I'm a hustler. |
[31 Jul 2005|12:47am] |
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Pet toys are funny. I love the little squeaky stuffed animal ones. Now, I can understand making a rabbit, or another dog/cat, or anything else smaller than a dog... but an ELEPHANT?? Isn't that just weird?? Domesticated dogs usually don't attack elephants anyway, why would they even think to make a toy one? Of course the dogs love it anyway because it squeaks and they can chew it up, but still, it's weird. Today I went to brunch with Mike and two of his friends from work, Ben and Vickie. They're both hilarious so it was a fun time. We went to Bob Evans. Mike used to work there, and our waitress was someone who had worked with him, so she gave us SUCH a good deal on our food, and we left her a pretty nice tip. Ben locked his keys in the car but managed to get in because he left his back window rolled down, thank goodness. After that I made Mike take me to Neshaminy because I wanted some keychains. Soon I will have car keys of my own and I must have some good keychains. I got a penguin with sunglasses on (since I LOVE penguins), an elephant, a tiny mouse because Mike liked him, and a guitar that is also a tiny flashlight!! Keychains are awesome, I had so much fun picking them out . Hung out at Mike's house for a little bit afterwards, and then Kristine called and asked us if we were able to help her and Jon clean out her grandmother's apartment. (Her grandmother passed a way earlier this summer .) Mike's parents let us use the van, so he and David took out the seats and then Kristine and Jon came over and we went to the apartment. We ended up spending about five or so hours helping to load things into the cars (and a couple beers were downed, ha). Awesomely, we got a lot of things moved out by making two trips and having two vans and Kristine's car, so it was very successful. After all that Mike and I went to Chick Fil A and grabbed some dinner and then watched Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band by my request. Mike's getting sick, ugh. I feel so bad. I need to call Ross and get some hours, I still haven't done that yet. Ross is just pissing me off, do I even want to work there if it's going to be such a hassle, if I have to BEG for hours every week?? $7 an hour is worth it, so I'll fight for a little longer and then I'll either succeed or just quit. But I need to find a better job than Sam Ash, I can't take that place anymore. Almost 8 months of that retarded job is TOO MUCH. And I love being able to drive!!!!!!!!!!!
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| And while you're at it leave the nite lite on inside the birdhouse in your soul. |
[29 Jul 2005|12:19am] |
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My dad's working on a song right now. |
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Mike wanted to make an update to show that I'm not all pissed off or something anymore, so here you go. I'm not pissed off anymore. Anyway, today I worked at Sam Ash from 10-5 and took a half hour break with Ron and Kim. We went to Jillian's and ate. I had chicken tenders and fries, of course! It was really good but the chicken was HUGE! I didn't finish it all. Ron kept checking out our waiter because he's gay. It was fun, Kim is such a sweetheart, I try to help her out when her boyfriend (ex for now...) is being a jerk. After that I worked for a few more hours and then came home, and Mike picked me up and we went to Bristol to walk around. I got soft serve ice cream!!! We walked along the river and then around the town. Took some pictures near this little fountain, hehehe. Then we went to Mike's house and decided to go to the movies. We decided to see March of the Penguins. For those of you who don't know, it's a documentary on penguins in Antarctica, narrated by Morgan Freeman. Yep, that's it, the only "actors" in the movie are penguins. It's AMAZING!!!!! First of all, I love penguins!! They are so adorable!! Second of all, nature is awesome, and I think it turns out to be a lot more entertaining than man-made productions. It was so so cool. After the movie we went back to my house to chill for a bit, and then he left and I'm still awake. I'm about to go and read some more Dracula... that book is soooo good. I read it all day at work (Joe Ward is on vacation all week and San Du doesn't work on Thursdays, so it was AWESOMEEEEE!!!) and am close to finishing it. Wahoo! Oh yeah, I saw a lot of people at the movies! SAFIA was there, I love her to death, and so was Alex, who let me use my free movie pass on the movie even though he wasn't supposed to because it was a special feature, and my ANDREW was there, working hard as always. And for those of you who don't know, I got my license last Tuesday. And saw They Might Be Giants at Penn's Landing on Saturday, with my dad, mom, Jill, and Mike. They gave out orange foam giant fingers, so I have like four just sitting in my room. TMBG is an awesome band!! And Ross took away all my hours for this week so they suck. Ok time to put the cat to bed and read more Dracula! Goodnight.
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[24 Jul 2005|07:14pm] |
Realization:
No one matters that much.
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| I'm so stupid. |
[18 Jul 2005|01:10pm] |
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Today so far has been a very weird and UNPROFITABLE day. I got up at 7 to get to work at Ross by 8 (we're still setting up the store), and of course I woke up late so I was rushing around and ended up not eating anything for breakfast. I drove to work (of course with a parent in the passenger seat since I am still licenseless...) and got to work putting clothes on hangers again. But right after putting three shirts on hangers I was called up to the front to get trained for register. Yay!! So there's a group of seven people learning the register from this girl Natalia (she has an accent, I think she's Russian). And so we're standing there, and I'm embarrassed already because I'm yawning my head off and I'm trying to stop and I kind of feel sick to my stomach. The nauseous feeling grows and I'm praying at this point that I don't throw up. Then my legs start feeling shaky, and I'm just like, "Jeeeeeez, I'm such an idiot!" Eventually it got to a point where I was like I need to lean on something, so I inched away from the front and leaned on the counter. Then this horrible burning feeling ran all through my body-- seriously, my face was SO HOT and I was sweating like crazy-- and then my eyesight started to get darker and darker until it was pretty much all black and I just sat down and grabbed my head with my hands, and the next thing I remember is Natalia kneeling next to me asking over and over again if I was alright. I shook my head no and tried not to cry and told her I was really dizzy. Oh and at this point my eyesight was back, but still kind of red and black blotchiness. So Natalia runs to the back and grabs me a water and a banana and I'm so embarrassed and feel really sick. She also got me a chair so I sat on that. Then this other girl that was training people came over and gave me some Starbursts because she thought I probably had low blood sugar. I ate a few, ate the whole banana, and drank some water. Eventually I could see again but I still felt so shaky. I sat there for a while during the training and tried to listen but I couldn't concentrate. Eventually another manager came over and was like, "Why don't you go home? It's ok since you're sick." And of course, I kinda started crying and was like OK, because this is a HORRIBLE FIRST IMPRESSION FOR A NEW JOB!!!!! I'm mortified and so afraid I might get fired. I don't know what happened either, which is kinda scary. Was it just because I missed breakfast? But I usually don't eat breakfast anyway. So my mom came and picked me up, and because she's so loving and really CARES ABOUT ME, she yelled at me and was like, "I hope you don't get fired!" So I started crying again and got home and just went to sleep. She came in a few hours later and asked what time I went to bed the night before, and then again said she hoped I didn't get fired and also asked if I was going to lie around in bed all day. (Which of course the answer is NO, I work at Sam Ash 4-10 tonight.) I got up at 1:30 and ate some mini-waffles, and I feel sort of shaky and I have a slight headache but I'm ok. I just made a mistake, and ruined the whole day. I was supposed to work at Ross 8-2 and then Sam Ash 4-10, and I couldn't even do that because I'm WEAK or something. I can't even handle a 12 hour work day?? I'm such a loser. Originally it was going to be 14 hours but I screwed up FIRST this morning by sleeping past 7 (I was going to go in to Ross 7-3) and then I wanted to practice parallel parking so I figured instead of getting out at three I should get out of two. I'm so mad at myself! But I'm ok, it was just weird.
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| All caught up. |
[14 Jul 2005|04:18pm] |
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4th of July weekend! Ok, so the 3rd of July my Uncle Dave and Aunt Chris had their annual family party, and this year I made Mike come with me. Everyone was there except for my cousin Melissa and her husband and two kids, Michael and Leah, so it was a full house in Parkwood, Philadelphia. Nothing too exciting happened except that I had two mixed smoothie drinks made by my 14 year old sister Emily and 12 year old cousin Ashley. And, of course, my Uncle Dave brought out his guitar and my Aunt Janet grabbed a mic and there was some pretty bad karaoke going on. I held the new baby McKayla during this and was surprised she slept through most of it, considering it was pretty loud. But anyway I don't think my family scared Mike too much, so that's always good. He's been around them before (for my graduation party and my Grandmother's funeral) but the 3rd of July extravaganza is always when they're most obnoxious. I love it! Then the 4th of July was Hilliary's party!!! Seriously, that was definitely one of the best parties ever. I saw Alicia for the FIRST TIME since we graduated!! I love Alicia sooooo much. She got drunk as shit. So did Hilliary!! Oh man, she was soooo funny! I got drunker than I ever have before. Bill, Chris, Marder, me, Mike, and Hilliary also went to Bill's backyard to do a little something that involved blueberry flavored goodness. It was Mike's second time and Hilliary's first, ahhh I'm starting to corrupt people, or at least help them corrupt themselves since they both wanted to without any prodding. That's what we did first, and then went back to Hilliary's and got shitfaced. I played beer pong for the first time with Hilliary as my team mate. We were playing against Mike and one of Hilliary's friends from work. We lost, but I did make it in a couple times, which was awesome because I was pretty wrecked. I ended up sleeping over Hilliary's, and throwing up twice the next morning, which was not pleasant but that's what I get for not being hydrated. (Hilliary though, who was the drunkest person there, did not even get a hangover. Freaking amazing.) The next day I hung out with Christina and Hilliary. We got Wendy's and went to Christina's house to go swimming. Then we just hung out, and Amanda came over later and I made Mike come over, too. We went to Great American for dinner and then to the park behind the police station to play frisbee!! Yeah it was an awesome two days. The next weekend, in order to finish the Corona's and also get rid of some of the stuff left over from the beach, we had a dinner party at Hilliary's. It was Hilliary, Christina, Amanda, Tom, Marder, Mike, and me. The girls dressed up in prom dresses and only Tom dressed up nicely, Mike refused and Marder thought I was joking. Anyway we ate pizza and Hilliary, Christina, Amanda, and Tom made a cake, and we drank a bit but not as much as the 4th of July. Tom wasn't able to stay long. I was the last person wearing my prom dress and accidentally smacked the bottle Marder was drinking from against his teeth (I seriously thought I broke his teeth) but he was OK. We started watching Halloween, then tried some nasty ass porn (EWWWW, ugh ugh ugh!), but just ended up hanging out. Marder left at like one and Hilliary had work the next day, so she went to bed, but Christina, Amanda, Mike, and I watched the 50 Funniest Moments in Music History just to get to number one, where SPINAL TAP WON!!! Of course! At like 3 AM we went to sleep. It was a good weekend. So I think I'm caught up now. Sunday I saw Fantastic Four with Mike and Greg, and I really liked it!!! I was surprised, quite honestly. Tonight I have orientation at Ross at seven, and this weekend I work there, going in at 6:30 on Saturday and 11:00 on Sunday to unload trucks and set up the store. I called out of Sam Ash today because I had a follow-up doctor's appointment, but I really could have went to work because the appointment was only five minutes long. But oh well, I enjoyed the day by sleeping and reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. WHO WANTS TO SEE IT THIS WEEKEND??!! I cannot wait to see it. Mike you are definitely taking me Saturday.
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| Real update! |
[12 Jul 2005|02:35pm] |
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So I've just been doing stupid updates lately. Let's get some real ones happening. The beach... which was forever ago it seems... was AWESOME! We left at around six, and traffic was pretty bad but we didn't mind considering moving slow gave us more time to figure out where we were going. We didn't get lost at all on the way Go us! We got to the Beach Hotel and the owner was so so nice. We moved all of our stuff into our room and sort of unpacked, and then went to the boardwalk! We found a sign for the beach saying it was open til ten PM so I made Mike go on the beach with me. It was about 8:30 so it was nice and cool out and it was so great!! We walked along the water and talked and it was sickenly romantic. After a bit of that we walked on the boardwalk for a while, just looking at everything and trying to find a place to eat. We eventually got pizza at this pizza shop and carried it back to our room with us. We had some pizza and tried to make strawberry daquiris, but the blender we bought was shitty and didn't really make smoothies, it was more like drinks with lots of ice chunks floating around. I still really liked it though. We stayed up pretty late, and actually got up pretty early. We went to the beach right away and I made Mike go into the water. Mwahahaha, it was freezing, but I loved it! I popped out of my top once, that was scary, because a huge wave knocked me over. After that we went to get some breakfast and Heather called saying she, Dave, and Christina were there! So we met them at the convention center and went to the beach! We went in the water FOREVER because it was so so so nice, I never wanted to get out. But we eventually did and everyone helped me make a sand castle! The moat was awesome and Mike made these really cool sand animals with these pretty little shells for decoration, but the actual castle was pretty lame (which was what I built); I'm just not good at making sand castles. But it was so so much fun. After the beach we cleaned up and went to find something to eat. Heather had found this awesome deal= two pizzas and two pitchers of soda for $20 (I think it was) so we went there and pigged out, and there was also an arcade next to the place so we played some games! The pizza was amazing. After that Heather and Dave and Christina went to play more arcade games and Mike and I just went back to the room because we were tired. We just hung out waiting for Heather to call when they were done, but they ended up deciding to leave right after the arcade so we just said goodbye. Mike and I decided to go walk on the boardwalk and we went to Morey's Piers and I made him ride the Tilt-A-Whirl with me and then we went on the swan ride, where you sit in this swan thing that has bicycle pedals and pedal around the pier. I love that ride!! I then got my Dippin' Dots and we walked back to the room to hang out there. We went to sleep on the early side because we were both so tired. The next morning we had to be out of the room by ten so we quickly showered and got dressed and packed, and then ate breakfast at this really good buffet called the Rusty Rudder. Mmmmmm! Then we went to The Fudge Kitchen and bought lots of fudge and got free salt water taffy, and then went back to the car and went on the beach one last time. We left the beach at around 2:30, stopped at a rest stop to get some food, and then got lost in Atlantic City (stupid Jersey!!!!). Mike called his dad and we managed to get back on the right road, so we didn't get home until almost six o'clock. We went to my house first and I dropped the fudge off and all of my stuff, and then we went to Mike's house and his mom had lasagna waiting for us and then we went to Kim's graduation party to hang out with her and Tom. Lots of other people were there too :-D Then Mike was falling asleep so we went back to his house to hang out and then I went home and had a great nights sleep. Next to be updated about: Hilliary's 4th of July party and our dinner party!!!
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| 50 Things About Me (100 is too many) |
[12 Jul 2005|01:51am] |
1) I was born on November 22, 1985, 22 years after President Kennedy was shot.
2) My favorite color is blue.
3) I had braces in 2nd grade. They were always pink.
4) I had braces again 7th-10th grades. They were always clear.
5) I never really wore my retainer so my bottom front teeth are pretty crooked.
6) I was a mistake, which is obvious because I'm only 11 months younger than my older sister Jill.
7) My little sister Emily is 6 years younger than me. I share a room with her.
8) My favorite subject in high school was English. There's no excuse for bad grammar/spelling.
9) I've been working in a garden center since ninth grade.
10) I love flowers. My favorite flower is the gerbera daisy.
11) When I was younger the girls in my neighborhood and I had a fort in the woods across the street. It looked like a birds nest.
12) I played the viola for 9 years. Sadly, I don't really play anymore, but I love it so much.
13) I started playing the classical guitar almost three years ago.
14) I've been dancing ballet for 14 years, and teaching for 6.
15) My absolute favorite band is XTC.
16) In ballet, my 5th year, we performed our dance to Bohemian Rhapsody and We Are the Champions. It was my favorite year.
17) The first dance I choreograped and performed in was when I was in ninth grade, and it was to a song called "The Forest" by Cirque du Soleil.
18) The last song I performed in and choreographed to was Ravel's string quartet in F major, and that was May 2004 (but obviously I am still teaching and choreographing).
19) My masterpiece choreography was this past May's recital. It was a medley of two XTC
songs performed by one of my 5 & 6 year old Ballet/Jazz classes and my Beginner Ballet class. The songs were Ballet for a Rainy Day and 1000 Umbrellas. Appropriately, the girls danced with umbrellas, and I've never been so proud of something I created in all my life.
20) I swear I'm really not that stuck up.
21) I don't really think college is all that great. At least in high school I didn't have to walk outside in the cold and rain to get to classes, nor did I have to depend on Septa to get there.
23) FYI, Septa is NOT reliable.
24) One more thing about ballet: Teaching little boys is HARD!
25) I've been dating my boyfriend Mike for a year and 4 months.
26) My boyfriend goes to Penn State University, 4 hours away.
27) I have a cat named Louie with a deformed paw. He's ADORABLE.
28) I like cats A LOT more than dogs.
29) My family has never gone on vacation because we're too poor. But it's ok because we'd probably just fight the whole time anyway.
30) I will be working two jobs come Thursday in order to afford a car and insurance.
31) I have 21 first cousins and 13 first cousins once removed (aka my cousins' kids). We're all Polish and drunks and LOUD.
32) Our fourth of July festivities include my Uncle Dave playing guitar and my Aunt Janet "singing" to old Ozzy and Aerosmith songs.
33) 10 of my cousins have been born out of wedlock, but who the heck cares? They were new babies! That's a GOOD THING.
34) All of the family members who have had kids out of wedlock are extremely happy and leading pretty good lives. Goes to show you, huh?
35) I like to drink. It makes me happy, sadly.
36) I sometimes smoke pot, it's relaxing.
37) I almost snorted coke but I didn't.
38) I really want a Jeep Wrangler, and I might buy my dad's old one when he gets a new car.
39) I LOVE MY LAST NAME! All 12 letters.
40) My best friend is Safia. We've been friends since 6th grade, she's really crazy, and she was Valedictorian of my class.
41) One of my most prized posessions is the gold bracelet that Mike got me for our one year anniversary.
42) I was in Group Therapy at school in 9th and 10th grades. It didn't really do any good.
43) The therapist in 10th grade said I should have a door that locked (my door at home doesn't). This shouldn't be told to someone who has self destructive tendencies and is in THERAPY.
44) I am a democrat! My church is mostly republicans (obviously) and they have a bulletin board where they post misconstruing propaganda about liberals on it. I don't like church very much; politics doesn't belong in church.
45) I go to Temple University in North Philadelphia. There isn't a lot of partying but it has its share of drive-bys in the neighborhood.
46) I sang at The Kimmel Center this past March with my school's choirs.
47) I LOVE TO READ MORE THAN ANYTHING. My favorite book is As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner. EVERYONE should read it :D
48) My favorite movie is Spinal Tap. If you haven't seen it, call me and we can have a Spinal Tap party.
49) I might live in England when I'm older. My Nanny (grandmom) lived in Shaftsbury, Dorset until after she married my Poppy and moved back to Philly with him.
50) I want 5 kids
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| Sigh. |
[11 Jul 2005|12:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| Your Career Type: Artistic | 
You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.
You would make an excellent:
Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor
The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary. |
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| Do you love it? I love it... I got it at Ross! |
[08 Jul 2005|12:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
I got a job at Ross. So now I will be working at Ross in the mornings and Sam Ash in the evenings. Ross pays $7.00 an hour, so I'm happy about that. I need money to buy a car. Hopefully by the end of the summer I will have made enough to get something decent, or at least enough so I won't have to take out a huge loan. Just a little one. Man I have a lot to update about... but I'm going to be lazy and do it later. Ross starts next Thursday, and then Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday all the employees are putting together the store. That's going to be interesting. Since I work at Sam Ash in the evenings I'm going to have to do the early shift at Ross, which starts at 7:00 AM. Ugh, wish me luck. I just need to keep reminding myself how I really need the money. That'll keep me going. And I still have weekends off.
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| Major boredom. |
[02 Jul 2005|06:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bored |
] |
Saturday, July 02, 2005
1. Mike.
2. Safia.
3. Heather.
4. Scott.
5. Krystal.
6. Erika.
7. Lauren.
8. Daniel.
9. Kristine.
10. Tom.
11. Hilliary.
12. Andrew.
13. Marder.
14. Josh.
15. Tarabell.
16. Kris.
17. Brian.
18. Niki.
19. Kim.
20. Katie.
And now....
RESULTS:
Who is #8 going out with?: No one at the moment.
Is #9 a boy or a girl?: Girl.
Would #11 and #2 go out?: Um no considering they're both girls and both straight.
How about #18 and #4?: I doubt it, she's a little short for Scott.
What grade is #17 in?: He's an old man. Well not really, he's 22 I think?
When was the last time you talked to #12?: A couple days ago.
What is #6's favorite band?: I don't know... probably something from Japan, since that's where she's originally from.
Does #1 have any siblings?: Two brothers, Greg and David.
Would you ever date #3?: I'd definitely date Heather, hahaha.
Would you ever date #7?: Yeah, she's hot stuff.
Is #16 single?: Nope, he's dating Leenie.
What's #15's last name?: Harbison!
What's #5's middle name? I actually have no clue.
What's #10's fantasy?: To become a famous drummer. I don't know.
Would #14 and #19 make a good couple?: Actually they would! But Josh has a girl already.
Tell me a random fact about #11?: She has a pet pig.
Have you ever had a crush on #16?: Yes, wow that was a coincedence from HELL.
Are #5 & #6 best friends?: Nope, don't even know each other.
Does #7 like #20?: Again, they don't even know each other.
How did you meet #15? From orchestra in middle school.
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| English Teacher Lori gives her first online lesson. |
[27 Jun 2005|11:28am] |
The shore was awesome, and I'm going to update about it later. But first, here's an English lesson for everyone. I'm looking at people's photo sites and there is always this one thing that makes my skin crawl. BAD GRAMMAR. So, for those of you with photo sites and who don't know this, here's a quick and painless lesson that will make you seem all the more smarter!!
When there is a photo of you and someone else, it is NOT correct to write "Vardaman and I. I know in Elementary school you were always told to use I, but guess what? They lied to us. Think about it. You have a picture of JUST yourself. You wouldn't write I. You would write ME. So, even when there is more than one person in the picture, you would still use ME. Vardaman and ME is actually the correct way to say it. You also need to think about it when you are speaking. People sometimes say I when they should really be saying me. The way I figure it out is I take out the other person and just think if it were just me. Let's take, "The teacher yelled at Josie and I." That would be WRONG, because you wouldn't say, "The teacher yelled at I." It would be, "The teacher yelled at me." So the correct way to say it would be, "The teacher yelled at Josie and me." It's actually very simple. So, seriously, COLLEGE STUDENTS. Let's get this right.
Oh, and also, A LOT is two separate words. There is not a word in the English dicionary that is ALOT.
Hopefully this helps everyone out. Anyone want to help me with math?
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